Mystery Science Theatre 3000, Planet Of The Apes, If Tomorrow Comes

Thursday, January 1st, 2009

02.00 Mystery Science Theatre 3000
07.00 Planet Of The Apes
11.30 If Tomorrow Comes

Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Season 7, Episode 6. "The Creeping Terror" A spaceship crashes and from it emerges an alien creature who proceeds to - slowly - move around the countryside attacking and eating people. People who are too dumb to run away, that is.

Surely one of the most entertaining 'bad movies' every made, the creature of the piece appears to be three men under a carpet. As person after person screams, and then climbs inside the mouth of the attacker, the MST3K gang have a field day.

It's a curious movie. For some reason, we never hear the actors say their dialogue. Instead a narrator tells us - scene by scene - what is happening and what is being said. Curious.

The funniest bit of all occurs about a half-hour into the movie when the hero of the story - a newly married cop - asks a buddy of his around for a couple of beers. As the three characters sit and talk, the narrator goes into great detail on the friendship of the two men, the strains that marriage will put on this friendship and how this happens to men all across a country.

Huh?

Quite what this has to do with the story is beyond me, but it allows the MST3K gang to start a wonderful riff about a "rogue narrator" who "doesn't play by the rules" and "gets results".

Hilarious.

Planet Of The Apes. Movie 1. "Planet Of The Apes" Very enjoyable, and clever, masterpiece that launched a successful franchise.

The first quarter shows us what happens when three astronauts - who expect to be returning to Earth after several hundred years in space - find themselves far off course and crashed on a desert alien landscape. Lots of nifty camera work, plus awesome location filming, make for a great start to the movie. The three guys adapt to their new environment and have some heated debates about what landed them in this situation.

The second quarter isolates Team Leader George Taylor and shows us his life as a prisoner of the ape-controlled society that rules the planet. Injured during his capture, Taylor can't speak and so he struggles to communicate with the intelligent primates around him and befriend a female scientist who has taken an interest in him.

The third quarter adds a lot of depth and substance to the story. When Taylor regains the power of speech it sends ripples through Ape Society, as he is the only human on this world capable of speech. Now more than an adventure story, the tale takes on a political edge as we watch those in power try to conceal this shocking development to protect their society status quo.

By the final quarter of the movie, it has returned to it's action-adventure roots. Taylor is on the run, with a band of supporters, and trying to prove that the Ape Society is built on lies.

Charlton Heston gives a terrific performance as Taylor. He makes a great hero in the middle of a great story, with a superb supporting cast. The characters are well fleshed out. The bad guys are easy to understand, and - though we root for Taylor - we can sympathise with the reasons for what they are trying to do.

If Tomorrow Comes. Episode 2. With her origin/backstory out of the way, and revenge got on the bad guys, Tracy is a free agent and the second part of ITC is a very different beast to the first part. The story is not quite as strong, but the pace is faster and there is more fun to be had. Tracy becomes an international cat-burglar/con-woman, travelling the world at dizzying pace and stealing from the rich and corrupt every chance she gets. Madolyn Smith Osborne is an absolute delight as Tracy dons a series of disguises and fakes accents with aplomb. It reminds of Alias.

The highpoint of the series comes in the latter hour of the movie, as Tracy meets Jeff (again) and they join forces to pull off fake chess games and walk away with 300,000 dollars in winnings. The series has a fantastic score and it comes into play in all of the action sequences, but it is never more enjoyable than during the chess games as Tracy (with Jeff in tow) runs around the cruise ship from game to game.

Highlight? Planet Of The Apes (downbeat and profound)
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